I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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