I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
