Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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