oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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