When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
