If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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