im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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