We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
