Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
