great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
