I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
