I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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