I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
