I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
