i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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