My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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