32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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