why didn't you poke me back
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
