a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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