who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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