Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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