I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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