Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
