I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I still have a little drunk in my system
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
