I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think a kid would responsible me up
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
