oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
