you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
