So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
