Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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