Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
