My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
