Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
