And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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