is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i now understand why vodka
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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