when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
