i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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