You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My ATM looks so different sober.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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