maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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