Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My penis needs a shock collar
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
