sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
