Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
