Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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