he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
