Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need to sanitize my soul.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
