so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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