You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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