You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
