Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
