Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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