p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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